Emotional mind - in the context of Happiness

Somebody who went through this blog made a wonderful observation. She sought a reason for her observation as to why haven’t I penned good memories and focused only on negative aspects of life. It was then that I questioned my conscience, “Am I so unhappy?” If I leave alone myself and try to figure out the number of people across the globe who are actually content in their lives, will I be getting a whooping lot of people or will I end up finding up a majority number of people who share like minds with me. Before we actually ponder on this issue, we need to throw some light on how is happiness defined.

I quick searched on the internet and found a promising definition which goes like, “Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” With this explanation to the term, ‘Happiness’, I seek the answer to one simple question. Are you actually unhappy or are you evading happiness in its pursuit?

Happiness is just like a lamp,
which gives pleasure till its lit,
but loses its beauty the very instance
when it runs out of oil.

Happiness is just like a perfume,
which cannot be sprayed on everyone,
unless you try learning,
to spray it on yourself.

Happiness is just like a lightning,
followed by a deafening thunder.
Joy comes like an immediate flash
but following the loudest sorrow.

Happiness cannot be stored or preserved,
but need to be spread among fellow persons.
Happiness need not be a thing that lasts forever,
but a thing which gradually reduces with time.

Sanity

Tell me the meaning of life
Life is just like a sudden storm,
filled with lightning and thunder,
in which sank many a ships.

Tell me the meaning of life
Life is just like a weak paper boat,
which slowly and steadily sinks,
with every drop of water falling on it.

Life is just like a barren desert,
with lots of thorny heart breaks.
Life is just like an ocean full of water,
yet not a single drop to drink.

Life is nothing but a journey,
which is very dry and tiring.
Life is nothing but hunger for money,
leading to roads of fear and killing.

Life is just like a garden,
full of leafless thorns,
in which people get stuck up
and fall prey to death.

Tell me the meaning of death
Death is a long sleep,
which ends to find us in paradise,

where we begin a new life.

Ignorance – A gift in disguise

It doesn’t make sense at all as to why people have to interfere in other's well being. If there is nothing positive to be said about a person, then there should very well be an advantage to enumerate the defects of that person. And if there isn’t any, then what is the reason in pointing out the differences? Is it to show that you are stronger and successful than others, is it that you hate him/her to that very extent or is it sheer pleasure out of being rude to whom they consider weak and driving them nuts?

Psychologically, there is no answer to these questions. But there still exists a larger set of such people who can mock at others without remorse and still walk away from them without giving any explanations for their shameful acts. It is completely insane but the frequency of such events put light to some sanity in the happening of such events. A perfect day is ruined, a life troubled and a world devastated, just because somebody thought that it was fun in mocking others and proving them to be a dunce.
Why can’t lives be normal and less complicated? Why can’t they live their own lives and let others lead theirs. Is it so important to advertise your happiness at the cost of ruining somebody else'? But then if you are confident about yourself, strong enough to handle your critics and have been on the receiving end numerous times, why should these preposterous comments made by others, actually bother you?
The key to understanding the myth behind the botheration is that somebody who matters or have mattered to you in the recent past has the power to inflict so much pain into you that you can die if you lose the battle completely. The only way out of this situation is to strike back if you think you are equally powerful or else ignore them completely and make them realize that they are the one who have made a fool out of themselves by lowering themselves to the standards of a street toddler and in the process, losing their dignity and value. There is a cliché that “Ignorance is bliss” and it works on most occasions in the favor of the victim, if that’s the right terminology to be used in this context. As rightfully said in the movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness' by the character 'Christopher Gardener', "Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it".

This is exactly what you ought to tell your conscience. Let your achievements in due course prove to these set of people that you follow the saying “Fools dance where angels fear to walk”.

Survivor

In the chaos filled sky,
of a climate very hot and dry,
lay a glimpse on a wrecked boat,
waving for help with his torn coat.

Amidst the deep angry sea,
he pillared all alone to see,
any ship passing his way,
but luck unfavoured his whole day.

He knew he was on his own
and made him to a nearby beach.
Sighing and panting he began to moan
yet made it to his reach.

Sitting on the hot sand,
he recollected his own land,
from where he started his voyage,
to seek fame and an image.

His destination was almost near,
but fate had him to fear,
the most fiercest storm,
which had everybody to drown.

The storm gulped all but one
and proceeded on its way,
surviving him alone in the run.
with a wrecked boat on to lay.

He had no hopes in this sand,
all alone on a lonely island.
He needs help to remain alive.
He wants to live but no one survive.

Another day wasted....

I was my own self in my own prejudicial world - the equation of having a job, the train journey during rush hours, the market check and minting money wherever required. But then a stupid thinking ran through my mind to shape up my career, not here but somewhere in the first world. I went to the UK, with too much of force and less of coax from parents. Assuming it to be for my own good, I let them dominate my conscience and actually make it a slave to the owner of my body itself.

Well, since the day and till the end of the month that I reached there, I was only sight to the hell that I went through; trying to convince my mind about the prison like room, not friendly and rather racist country and expensive life in the UK. The pool of mixed emotions seemed to ruin my health and brains. But I didn’t want a disappointment and an embarrassment yet again at my hands to my parents, like I did way back when my dad placed me in his company for a job of which I had no idea or career focus. All he was concerned was about his efforts to get me there, but not about what I wish to pursue. But that time my mind shrugged its first guts to defy him and forced my body against him and much against anyone (for whom money was the only important diet in life), I came back to my world.

Coming back to the life which took a rather exciting mode after a disgusting start in the London life, I met new friends of my type and age, which made me realize that there’s more that meets the eye than your own self and family social life. I basked in their presence, did what they did, enjoyed like never before. I made my life change from the regular nerd boy to the lovely chocolate boy, ready to unleash. But disappointments kept showing its ugly face, when it seemed that everything was going my way. I did a blunder of coming on vacation in December 06, fresh from the UK party life, to face another sloth like life. Maybe I was demanding too much from too little. But I was adamant that I needed it badly and forced myself so hard that at least I got a partner to go places I never been before and sounds that I never heard before, even though I made enemy of my parents, I was beginning to experience a new phase of life where there are sights and sounds that is larger and greater than the 2x2 flat in the countryside or the company of my blood relatives. I started to believe more than what was written in my destiny - the destiny that was designed by my father and the destiny that has been followed by my forefathers. I defied the truth and reached a world of wonderland. The bottom line remained, no matter the odds, I was happy.
I returned with all my happiness to UK again but then again ugly faces of treachery and deceit threatened my enjoyment. Somehow, I tackled it all and stood strong. I never had anybody to celebrate my performances my entire life. So I made every little thing that I achieved, a big feather in my cap. I made an individual personality of myself which was independent of my parents, my relatives, my friends and every other acquaintance I knew. I had a world and I just created a new world of myself taking something good from everyone I knew. I got set in my own world and then another crime struck my mind. I finished my course and committed another mistake of rushing back to my motherland. Hasty, as it seemed, I still hedged my prior mistakes and made a plan so that things don’t go awkward. But the discipline I maintained in my life of 1 year abroad seemed so ridiculous once I landed here. I thought myself to be a genius and only I landed here, I have been made to look like a dunce. I understood one thing, plan or no plan; enjoyment always comes at a price. You pay the price of being an ideal son, a brother, a relative, its only then you will enjoy the privileges of enjoying your own life.

A Day Shall Come

A day shall come
when life would be all fun,
when all sorrows would end
in the rise of a new sun.

A day shall come
when the oceans will be blue,
when the paradise in our minds
would turn out to be true.

A day shall come
when peace would spread all over,
when all would forget their woes
in the embraced arms of each other.

A day shall come
when the poor would live,
when the hungry will eat
his share of rice and wheat.

A day shall come
when you will contribute something,
for which you will be rewarded
by some needy, with a blessing.

Silent Anger - Prejudicial solution or a suicide bomb

Anger or wrath is beyond the control of the mind and in some cases the body as well. However, it tends to become more dangerous when it is coupled with silence. A silent anger has its after effects on not only the person in himself but also affects the people around him. It takes only a second to raise anger in oneself but it takes a lot of time to pacify it, sometimes, even ages. Anger is the outcome of accumulated frustration, things going wrong on most occasions, an execution though proper but not giving the right results, strong ego et. al.

A silent anger escalates your ego and puts it above everybody else. At that point of time, you want everything and everyone to succumb to your prejudice. Every silly error seems like a big mistake when the mind is under the intoxication of anger. You don’t seem to understand the sanity of facts happening in and around you. As a matter of fact, you don’t actually care about sanity when your ire is at its peak. You just concentrate on what your mind keeps blabbering and which makes no sense at all in whatsoever manner. The body highly becomes aloof and seems to have no connection with the mind. It develops a 3/4:1/4 ratio of the mind to that of the body with relation to the brains. You wish to hear loud music, maybe walk miles aimlessly or hit somebody so hard that it becomes very difficult to recognize that person. A silent anger situation completely eradicates the third aspect of it. In such a stage, the body does something totally different and uncalled for. An angry mind doesn’t command its body to stay with it. The body in the absence of command does all kind of erroneous stuff like walk into a shop and buy the wrong stuff, do not realize a phone that’s ringing, do not feel the hunger in the whole day, stop on a green pedestrian signal, do not hear and react to other people cursing you for blocking their ways or for that matter do not even realize that a bus is about to run you down. And the mind; it still is busy calculating all possible equations, analyzing all axioms to derive inferences that are so very uncliched. But “who gives a fuck what others think! I am above others and I am the very best and everyone needs to accept what I say, what I do”, says the mind in the influence of the silent anger. You feel a fire within you that you want to aggravate and turn it into a flaming phenomenon. You want the fumes to dope your senses so much that they reach a state of trance. You don’t feel the burns of it and you want more heat at your own sweet discretion. You want yourself to be seen as a flaming torch ready to unleash on anyone that comes in his way.

In the state of silent anger, you might have locked yourself inside a room trying to distance yourself from others who you thought were on confronting terms. You want to lose everybody to the fire in you and the devil in your mind makes that possible for you and there you are; the lone survivor to your havoc. You had all your prey for your saddistic pleasure and flaming desire. But will that be the truth that will prevail? At the end of all this, when the flame disappears, it leaves only ashes and nothing else. As the anger subsides and the speech follows gradually, it is highly skeptical that there will be listeners in and around you now. Now at the end of everything, your eyes contract and wish to see everything normal in and around you. You wish to walk out of that door and maybe, grab something to eat as you are very hungry. But since you shopped for unwanted things, you didn’t get anything in particular to satisfy your hunger. You realize how dumb you were. You try and call your friends to check whether you can join them for lunch. But they don’t answer your calls since you ignored their phone calls when you were busy in your world of antipathy, thereby making an enemy of them. You curse them for holding a grudge against you but you completely disregard their patience in calling you when you were being seduced by your ludicrous and egoistic anger. As the day dawns, you realize your mistakes as a consequence of your silent anger; but is there somebody left to confess to? In the end you thought you stood as a victor to your bigotry, but you have cost your well wishers to your lust for self respect. Now you are left to think, was that what you wanted?