I was my own self in my own prejudicial world - the equation of having a job, the train journey during rush hours, the market check and minting money wherever required. But then a stupid thinking ran through my mind to shape up my career, not here but somewhere in the first world. I went to the UK, with too much of force and less of coax from parents. Assuming it to be for my own good, I let them dominate my conscience and actually make it a slave to the owner of my body itself.
Well, since the day and till the end of the month that I reached there, I was only sight to the hell that I went through; trying to convince my mind about the prison like room, not friendly and rather racist country and expensive life in the UK. The pool of mixed emotions seemed to ruin my health and brains. But I didn’t want a disappointment and an embarrassment yet again at my hands to my parents, like I did way back when my dad placed me in his company for a job of which I had no idea or career focus. All he was concerned was about his efforts to get me there, but not about what I wish to pursue. But that time my mind shrugged its first guts to defy him and forced my body against him and much against anyone (for whom money was the only important diet in life), I came back to my world.
Coming back to the life which took a rather exciting mode after a disgusting start in the London life, I met new friends of my type and age, which made me realize that there’s more that meets the eye than your own self and family social life. I basked in their presence, did what they did, enjoyed like never before. I made my life change from the regular nerd boy to the lovely chocolate boy, ready to unleash. But disappointments kept showing its ugly face, when it seemed that everything was going my way. I did a blunder of coming on vacation in December 06, fresh from the UK party life, to face another sloth like life. Maybe I was demanding too much from too little. But I was adamant that I needed it badly and forced myself so hard that at least I got a partner to go places I never been before and sounds that I never heard before, even though I made enemy of my parents, I was beginning to experience a new phase of life where there are sights and sounds that is larger and greater than the 2x2 flat in the countryside or the company of my blood relatives. I started to believe more than what was written in my destiny - the destiny that was designed by my father and the destiny that has been followed by my forefathers. I defied the truth and reached a world of wonderland. The bottom line remained, no matter the odds, I was happy.
I returned with all my happiness to UK again but then again ugly faces of treachery and deceit threatened my enjoyment. Somehow, I tackled it all and stood strong. I never had anybody to celebrate my performances my entire life. So I made every little thing that I achieved, a big feather in my cap. I made an individual personality of myself which was independent of my parents, my relatives, my friends and every other acquaintance I knew. I had a world and I just created a new world of myself taking something good from everyone I knew. I got set in my own world and then another crime struck my mind. I finished my course and committed another mistake of rushing back to my motherland. Hasty, as it seemed, I still hedged my prior mistakes and made a plan so that things don’t go awkward. But the discipline I maintained in my life of 1 year abroad seemed so ridiculous once I landed here. I thought myself to be a genius and only I landed here, I have been made to look like a dunce. I understood one thing, plan or no plan; enjoyment always comes at a price. You pay the price of being an ideal son, a brother, a relative, its only then you will enjoy the privileges of enjoying your own life.
Well, since the day and till the end of the month that I reached there, I was only sight to the hell that I went through; trying to convince my mind about the prison like room, not friendly and rather racist country and expensive life in the UK. The pool of mixed emotions seemed to ruin my health and brains. But I didn’t want a disappointment and an embarrassment yet again at my hands to my parents, like I did way back when my dad placed me in his company for a job of which I had no idea or career focus. All he was concerned was about his efforts to get me there, but not about what I wish to pursue. But that time my mind shrugged its first guts to defy him and forced my body against him and much against anyone (for whom money was the only important diet in life), I came back to my world.
Coming back to the life which took a rather exciting mode after a disgusting start in the London life, I met new friends of my type and age, which made me realize that there’s more that meets the eye than your own self and family social life. I basked in their presence, did what they did, enjoyed like never before. I made my life change from the regular nerd boy to the lovely chocolate boy, ready to unleash. But disappointments kept showing its ugly face, when it seemed that everything was going my way. I did a blunder of coming on vacation in December 06, fresh from the UK party life, to face another sloth like life. Maybe I was demanding too much from too little. But I was adamant that I needed it badly and forced myself so hard that at least I got a partner to go places I never been before and sounds that I never heard before, even though I made enemy of my parents, I was beginning to experience a new phase of life where there are sights and sounds that is larger and greater than the 2x2 flat in the countryside or the company of my blood relatives. I started to believe more than what was written in my destiny - the destiny that was designed by my father and the destiny that has been followed by my forefathers. I defied the truth and reached a world of wonderland. The bottom line remained, no matter the odds, I was happy.
I returned with all my happiness to UK again but then again ugly faces of treachery and deceit threatened my enjoyment. Somehow, I tackled it all and stood strong. I never had anybody to celebrate my performances my entire life. So I made every little thing that I achieved, a big feather in my cap. I made an individual personality of myself which was independent of my parents, my relatives, my friends and every other acquaintance I knew. I had a world and I just created a new world of myself taking something good from everyone I knew. I got set in my own world and then another crime struck my mind. I finished my course and committed another mistake of rushing back to my motherland. Hasty, as it seemed, I still hedged my prior mistakes and made a plan so that things don’t go awkward. But the discipline I maintained in my life of 1 year abroad seemed so ridiculous once I landed here. I thought myself to be a genius and only I landed here, I have been made to look like a dunce. I understood one thing, plan or no plan; enjoyment always comes at a price. You pay the price of being an ideal son, a brother, a relative, its only then you will enjoy the privileges of enjoying your own life.
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